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Monday, May 30, 2005
In the Beginning
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Balancing
Many of you will agree with me on the insanity of life ... at least sometimes. Our lives can be uprooted and flipped resulting in total chaos. I found this to happen frequently when I allowed others to control my time and/or efforts. When I took back the control I re-established the balance. But it's not always so simple and easy to re-establish the balance. For what seems like months, maybe years, chaos has been my life. I didn't have time for anything. I didn't have time to eat and if I did I didn't have time for preparing it ... only enough time for a grab and go meal. My efforts to control simple tasks in my home was overwhelming. Things fell to the wayside ... paperwork mounted, bills never opened (thank goodness for online electronic payments!), chores left undone, social deprivation set in. LIFE was getting in the way of my LIVING! My resolve for my dilemma was to live more by balancing life. I would put in discipline where it was needed. Hopefully cut the waste and put in better quality. Like going from motel to hotel; Motel 6 to Marriott. It's not been easy to reconstruct an infrastructure that had been built up over years. But I am finally feeling the results of my efforts. Over the past year I have taken back control. I began by firmly setting boundaries of my time at work in order to re-institute time for play. I am a workaholic. It has not been uncommon for me to work from 10 am to midnight for six to seven days a week. Seven years ago I worked four jobs (yes, four!), plus I was in school for massage (four nights a week) and taking a spiritual enhancement course on Sundays. WHEW! With all that I still achieved highest scholastic honors. I also began putting order back into my home life. I got organized. From one who had been so compulsive that I took the time to evenly space out the hangers in my clothes closet to now being one who had a closet bulging, the door didn't close, full of clothes that I hadn't worn or couldn't wear! In my twenties I had been a fitness builder with a physique that stopped traffic to now an overweight middle-aged woman. I now refused to accept this as part of getting older. I began a fitness regiment. This has not been without failure. I have started and stopped so many times that I felt I was in a revolving doorway. I questioned myself as to what kind of game was I playing with my body? I realized I had given up responsibility of my body to others to care for. Wow! What a epiphany! I vowed to take back control and responsibility of my body. This went hand in hand with my life. In the past two months I have done better than ever before in getting back in the driver's seat. Again I joined a gym. This time I immediately got a program from a qualified personal trainer. I began following the program in February of this year. I have done very well. In March I had a set-back when I was thrown from a horse and broke a rib. But I was only out for two weeks from the gym! I spent a month rehabing before I was back to my previous strength. My body is toning up and my life is getting its balance. I have found time to be at the gym every day for 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours (I love 30 minutes of stretching!). I have time to spend with friends such as walking on the beach or playing racquetball. My household is getting organized. My workload is less stressful yet I produce the same or more. There's only one thing that remains out of control and that is the nutrition side of my life. I am slowly finding the time to cook for myself but it is hard. I still don't eat for hours because I have forgotten but I am getting better at remembering. I'm making better choices. I anticipate that in the next 30 days I will have succeeded in getting that back under my control too! I believe each of us is a teacher ... and we teach through sharing. Please feel free to share.

Posted by livinglifeforce at 9:08 PM EDT
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